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Increase
the Amount in Your Marriage Account
by
Dennis Burke
Marriages
are like bank accounts. You can continue to make regular withdrawals only
if you first make significant deposits. A deposit is an action or word
that shows how much value a husband or wife places on the relationship. A
deposit could be anything from a tender word, a spontaneous touch, a fresh
batch of favorite cookies, or performing a household chore. A withdrawal
is an expectation or requirement that draws out of the relationship to
meet a personal need - such as being asked to watch the children so your
wife can spend an evening with her friends, or to spend a weekend alone
while your husband goes hunting.
How do you protect your marriage from the emotional bankruptcy that can
come from making more withdrawals than deposits? Find out what enriches
your relationship in the eyes of your mate, and also find out what are the
biggest draws out of that account. It may surprise you. You'll discover
that the greatest deposits are not purchased with money but with personal
involvement in the needs, goals, and dreams of your mate. And you'll find
out how much the differences in our personalities influence the value we
place on each other's actions. You may be buying flowers and paying
someone to take care of the lawn thinking those are two big deposits into
your marriage, when your wife longs to see you getting personally involved
in her everyday world by painting a room or mowing the grass yourself.
Your homemade meals and baked desserts for your husband may be a labor of
love. But even though your dad preferred homemade treats, you might
discover that your husband prefers store-bought desserts. A bigger deposit
might be to let him play golf on Saturday mornings.
Obviously, the big deposits your spouse will make into your life will
often come at the cost of his or her own preferences and desires. Learn to
recognize and appreciate the effort your mate is making to enrich the
relationship. The need to draw upon the strengths and resources of your
relationship will always exist. So make sure your marriage account has
received regular demonstrations of love, sensitivity and gratitude for one
another. Then withdrawals can be made from the overflow of those deposits
instead of being scraped out from the bottom of a barrel that has already
run dry. |
