The Final Decree
by Melanie Hemry
Sitting down outside the courthouse, Judy wondered what
she should do. Despite 2 1/2 years of prayers and forgiveness and her
faith that their marriage would be restored, Steven had divorced her.
Divorce.
The judge slammed the stamp onto each paper in rapid
succession. Judy Myers gripped the counter, feeling each stamp imprinted
on her heart - castaway...rejected...worthless....
Steven stood casually beside her. Steven, her husband of
10 years. Steven, the tall, burly hero who always made her feel so
beautiful. Steven, the father of her children. Steven, who had left her
for another woman. Steven, who had asked these people to stamp these
papers and cut her out of his life.
Judy stumbled out of the courthouse and sank onto a
nearby bench. Divorced. So final. Cradling her head in her hands, Judy
remembered when divorce had been an unthinkable word in their marriage.
Then she had met Jesus and for some reason things began
to change. Judy remembered running home to tell Steven about Him. They
told each other everything in those days. Steven looked at her in an odd
sort of way and said, "That's nice."
That's nice? The more she told Steven about her
relationship with the Lord, the more distant he became. Until finally, 2
1/2 years ago, he'd moved out - into the arms of another woman.
During the pain-ridden days after Steven left, Judy
first heard Kenneth Copeland teach on being redeemed from the curse of the
law. She had hurried to her Bible and looked it up for herself. Sure
enough, Deuteronomy 28:30 listed one of the curses under the law,
"Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with
her..." (The Amplified Bible). Wife or husband, infidelity was
all a part of the same curse.
Then she flipped the pages of her Bible over to
Galatians 3:13: "Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law,
being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that
hangeth on a tree...."
Judy's heart leapt within her. Christ had redeemed her
from a broken marriage! She decided then and there to believe the Word and
not her circumstances.
Three times in 2 1/2 years since he'd first moved out,
Steven had returned home. But even then, though they lived under the same
roof, he and Judy remained poles apart. He never gave up the other woman,
and Judy never gave up the Word. They had nowhere to compromise.
"Steven went for weeks without even talking to the
children," Judy remembers. "The Lord gave me Mark 11:23-24 to
stand on, about speaking to the mountain to be removed and be cast into
the sea. Then He showed me verses 25-26, 'And when ye stand praying,
forgive, if ye have aught against any: that your Father also which is in
heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither
will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.' "
Judy had a lot to forgive and she knew it wouldn't be
easy. But she had to do it. Her entire stand of faith hinged on her
willingness to forgive - not just Steven, but the other woman as well.
"It was tough," Judy recalls. "She would
call and harass me, saying that Steven didn't love me and that I was a bad
wife to him. The Lord kept reminding me of 1 Corinthians 13:8, 'Love never
fails...' (The Amplified Bible).
"Finally, I talked her into meeting me in person.
When she stepped out of her car, I just walked over and put my arms around
her. I explained that I didn't have anything against her, but I knew
Steven would come back to me. I couldn't afford to be bitter and I had to
walk in love."
Sitting now outside the courthouse, Judy wondered what
she should do. Despite 2 1/2 years of prayers and forgiveness and her
faith that their marriage would be restored, Steven had divorced her.
Should she give up that faith now? Was the divorce court's pronouncement
the final decree?
That night, Judy turned her Bible to the now familiar
passage in Malachi 2:14:
Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord
was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the
wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to
whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your
covenant... (The Amplified Bible).
Judy rolled the last few words of that passage over and
over again in her mind. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your
covenant. Divorced or not, Judy knew God still recognized her as
Steven's wife.
"I realized God would not override a person's will
or manipulate him," Judy explains, "so I was careful not to pray
that way. I prayed against the god of this world who had blinded Steven's
eyes. I asked the Father to speak to his heart." It would be years
before Judy knew specifically how those prayers were answered.
In the meantime, one of the most difficult things for
Judy was watching their children, Kirstin and Kyle, suffer from the lack
of their father's attention. She began to pray Malachi 4:6 over the
situation, "And he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their
children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and
smite the land with a curse" (New American Standard).
The hardest day for Judy in each passing year was their
anniversary - Valentine's Day. Steven had always gotten her wonderful
cards, and each year he'd told her that their marriage was so special the
whole world celebrated with them. Now she spent those once-precious
Valentine's Days alone.
In May 1981, four years after Steven moved out, he
phoned with the news she'd prayed for so long. "Hi," he said,
"I got saved last night."
He spoke the words matter-of-factly. There was no
fanfare. No fireworks. But Judy knew those words would eventually change
everything.
Once Steven accepted the Lord, the relationship he was
in didn't work anymore. Soon, he moved out of the woman's house and into
his own apartment. Gradually, he began spending more time with Judy and
the children, but he made it clear that he still maintained his friendship
with the other woman.
"I wanted to challenge him on his relationship with
her," Judy admits, "but the Lord reminded me that He allows the
wheat and tares to grow together until it's time for Him to separate
them."
By now, Judy had spent many hours a day studying the
Word. She was growing rapidly in the Lord. "I wanted Steven to be the
spiritual leader," she explains. "So I prayed, telling the Lord
that I didn't want to be the head of our household. Afterward, every time
I saw Steven, he had grasped some new revelation that had taken me years
to learn. His growth in the Lord was fast and solid."
Before long, Steven began attending church with Judy and
their children. He developed the habit of staying over for Sunday lunch
and spending the afternoon with them. Sunday night they drove separate
cars to church. Afterward, Steven always kissed Judy goodnight before
sending her home.
As weeks stretched into months, Judy fought impatience. When
is the breakthrough going to come? she wondered. Then one afternoon,
as Judy listened to Kenneth Copeland tapes and painted her garage, she
heard the answer. Without warning, the Holy Spirit spoke four words that
took her breath away: It's not many days.
"I constantly had to resist the urge to take things
into my own hands," Judy admits. "So instead of getting excited
and overeager, I told myself that with God a day is as a thousand years. I
turned off my emotions and simply painted the garage."
Eight days later, Steven phoned. He wanted to see Judy -
alone. When he arrived, he was choked with emotion. "Judy," he
said, "I've been such a jerk."
"God has forgiven you, and I've forgiven you,"
Judy answered.
Finally, as though from a far distance, Judy heard the
words she'd waited four long years to hear. "I love you, and I'd like
to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I had to be careful," Judy explains. "I
knew that love wasn't enough. Steven had to know it was God's will for me
to be his wife. I had to be certain that during the next storm he'd stand
on the Word instead of his emotions."
"Besides love," Judy asked, "why
else?"
"You're a wonderful mother," Steven said.
"Why else?"
"Well, I wasn't going to say this, because it isn't
romantic, but...I spent the weekend in a tent praying and listening to
God, and I know it's His will for you to be my wife!"
"Yes!" Judy screamed and tumbled into
his lap.
On October 23, 1982, Steven and Judy were remarried.
"The Lord healed our marriage," Judy says,
"but there was one detail that still bothered me. I felt cheated out
of our special anniversary date. When I prayed about it, the Lord reminded
me of Joel 2:25, 'And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath
eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm....' "
A few years later, on Valentine's Day - their original
anniversary - Steven handed Judy a card. When she opened it, her gaze fell
to the words he'd written there. Reading them she felt as though warm oil
was pouring over her, healing every emotional scar that remained from the
separation and divorce. The card simply said, "On this day in 1970,
God gave me His best."
Today, the Myers celebrate their anniversary once again
on a day so special the whole world celebrates with them. Both Steven and
Judy are active in their church. Judy, Kirstin and Kyle all teach Sunday
school. Steven teaches a Bible study, is a deacon, and both Steven and
Judy are Care Team leaders in their church.
What does Judy have to say now to others who are
navigating rough marital waters? "If you want to weather the storms
of life without being completely destroyed, you must build your life on
the Word of God. I learned that early from Brother Copeland.
"He was teaching from Luke 6:46-49, where Jesus
told the story about the person who hears and obeys the Word. Jesus said
that person is like a man who, building a house, dug deep and laid his
foundation on a rock. When the flood arose and the torrent broke against
his house, it could not be destroyed because of its secure foundation.
"But the person who merely hears the Word and does
not put it into practice is like the man who built his house on the sand.
When the storm arose against his house, it collapsed immediately.
"I didn't know the Word when the storm struck my
marriage. Our relationship wasn't based on godly principles, but on
infatuation, so when I started basing my role of wife on the Word it was
like building a house during a hurricane.
"Still, I laid hold of Jesus' promise and believed
the storm could not prevail if I acted on
the Word. Jesus said, '...In the world you have tribulation...but...take
courage...for I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to
harm, have conquered it for you]'
(John 16:33, The Amplified Bible). It's not easy to build a house
while the wind is blowing and floodwaters are rising, but it's possible
through faith in God's Word.
"The Word works. It is the Manufacturer's Handbook
containing prescribed repair and preventive maintenance for successful
living. It will work for whoever puts it to work."
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