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Aim
Your Child Like an Arrow
"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's
youth" (Psalm 127:4 NASB).
Those 15 words paint one of the most powerful portraits of parenting
illustrated in the Bible. It reveals the awesome privilege God has given
parents, the privilege of fashioning their children into obedient,
faithful and responsible adults. God's plan and desire are that our
children be trained for success - and He's called us to do it. He's called
us to prepare them like a skilled craftsman fashions an arrow.
You see, God created children to win. They were born to be successful by
the working of God's Word in their hearts and lives. And the Word works in
their hearts when parents develop and nurture a hunger for God's Word in
them. Only then can a parent truly aim them for the success God intended
them to achieve.
Unfortunately, too many children have been conditioned to lose ... maybe
not intentionally, but they have been conditioned by a form of child abuse
that gets little attention. They have become victims of neglect.
Several years ago, the Duke of Windsor visited the United States and when
asked what impressed him most in this country, his much-publicized
response was, "The way American parents obey their children."
His comment was as tragic as it was humorous. But he described quite
accurately the consequences of neglect that many children suffer.
If a parent doesn't aim a child, teach a child to hunger and thirst after
God, then the child will seek outside influences to meet the need the
parent should have met. It leaves the child to raise himself and miss the
mark of all that God created him to be.
You've probably seen this kind of behavior. It's all around us. It is the
root of much teenage delinquency and it causes children who are not
getting the attention they crave from their parents through normal means
to get it otherwise. It is child abuse in one of its most devastating
forms.
Aim Your Child for Success
Instead of being left to flounder and fail, constantly missing the mark of
what they were created to be, God wants children to be taught His Word by
parents who demonstrate it moment by moment in their lives:
"And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your
heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of
them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you
lie down and when you rise up" (Deut. 6:6-7 NASB).
How important is it that we take this command seriously? I have found the
answer in the Bible account of two fathers who acted quite differently.
Lot (Abraham's nephew) and Noah (several generations before Lot) faced
similar circumstances and challenges in raising their families in wicked
and corrupt generations - much like we often feel today. Each of them had
choices to make, choices that either made them strong in aiming their
children, or weak.
When put to the test, Lot failed in his choices - particularly two of
them. His first mistake came when his uncle, Abraham, gave him the choice
of where he wanted to live. Rather than choose a godly place, he chose to
settle near Sodom, a city known for its wickedness. The Scripture says it
was where the men were wicked and sinned against the Lord (see Genesis
13:5-13).
Then, he developed a tolerance of sin and hesitated to obey God, a
behavior that did not impress upon his family the importance of God's
Word.
The Bible says that when the angels told Lot that the city of Sodom would
be destroyed, "... Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who
were to marry his daughters, and said, 'Up, get out of this place, for the
Lord will destroy the city.' But he appeared to his sons-in-law to be
jesting" (Gen. 19:14 NASB).
Lot's family did not respond to his direction - direction he had received
from God. Why would they do such a thing?
Part of the answer is in verses 15-16: "... When morning dawned, the
angels urged Lot, saying, 'Up, take your wife and your two daughters, who
are here, lest you be swept away in the punishment of the city.' But he
hesitated. So the men seized his hand ... and put him outside the
city" (NASB).
The failure of Lot's family to respond to his instruction should have come
as no surprise. Lot himself was not quick to obey God's Word. His choices
demonstrated to his children neither a hunger for God nor a respect for
God's direction.
Because of these choices, his own family didn't take him seriously. Lot
was more of a joke to his family than a man of integrity to be followed.
Later as Lot and his wife left the city, Lot's wife disobeyed the command
to "look not behind thee" and was destroyed.
Though spared because of Abraham's stand in covenant with God, Lot lost
his wife and other family members. And he received the greatest dishonor a
parent could - his family mocked his instructions and did not respect his
authority.
As a parent, Lot had failed in the responsibility God made so clear to
Abraham, "For I have chosen him, in order that he may command his
children ... to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and
justice ..." (Gen. 18:19 NASB).
The Secret of Noah's Success
Generations before Lot, however, another parent, Noah, faced similar
challenges and succeeded:
Noah was another who trusted God. When he heard God's warning about the
future, Noah believed him even though there was then no sign of a flood,
and wasting no time, he built the ark and saved his family.
Noah's belief in God was in direct contrast to the sin and disbelief of
the rest of the world - which refused to obey - and because of his faith
he became one of those whom God has accepted (Heb. 11:7, The Living
Bible).
The example Noah set before his family was that he "trusted
God," even though there was no physical evidence to verify what he
had heard. His stand in faith - trusting God for deliverance from the
coming destruction - gave his children the opportunity to have his example
as a pattern for their faith, and to learn to trust him as their spiritual
authority.
Notice that Noah "wasted no time" in obeying God. If he had
hesitated like Lot, he would have jeopardized the lives of his entire
family.
Noah's faith stood in direct contrast to the rest of the world "which
refused to obey." So, do you sometimes feel like you are the only one
who believes God's Word? The only one with high standards for your
children, surrounded by people whose beliefs are in direct contrast to
yours?
Well, you're not alone! Just keep being like Noah who determined to obey
God regardless of what other people said or thought.
Genesis 6:8-9 says, "But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord ...
Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with
God" (NASB). Notes in the New American Standard version translate the
word blameless as "complete," "perfect" or
"having integrity." Noah's blameless walk apparently had a
significant effect on his children. Even though it had never before even
rained upon the earth, they followed him in building the ark.
What brought Noah this degree of respect from his children? The kind of
respect that enables a parent to properly aim a child? He committed his
life to responding to God's Word, and he faithfully trained his family to
do the same. Because he lived uprightly, in obedience to God, Noah's
entire family was delivered from destruction. He received the greatest
honor a parent could - his family respected him enough to follow his
instructions.
Set Your Sights on the Word
Noah succeeded where Lot had failed - he lived a life of faith that held
up God's Word as the standard. God's Word must always be the target toward
which you aim your child. Regardless of the skill of the archer, if he
doesn't know where the target is, he will never hit it!
All it takes to miss God's best is to fail to love Him, hear His voice and
hold fast to Him: "I call heaven and earth to witness against you
today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the
curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your
descendants, by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by
holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days
..." (Deut. 30:19-20 NASB).
No one purposely lives under the curse. However, many people find
themselves there by default. Default means failure to do something, or the
absence of something needed. Failure of a parent to love the Lord by
obeying His voice will expose the family to the enemy's deceptions and
attacks - even if the cause is ignorance or indecision.
Notice how important your decision is: "This is your life and the
length of your days." Not even God can tell you how to live. Only you
can decide that. The everyday choices you make and lead your children to
make last the rest of their lives.
God's Word must always be your target. With practice your children will
learn it's not impossible to hit the mark. Hebrews 5:14 says that
"solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their
senses trained to discern good and evil" (NASB).
Keep your children on target by developing in them a hunger for the solid
food of the Word. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to "train up a child in the
way he should go." The Hebrew word train has its origin in a word
which means "palate, roof of the mouth, taste."
This verse is referring to an ancient custom for weaning a child by
developing his taste for solid food. According to custom, the mother would
chew her food well, then put a dab of it on the palate of the child's
mouth. Soon the child preferred the solid food to the milk.
In a similar way, you have been given the same responsibility regarding
your child's hunger for God's Word. So make the decision that you will
take the time and effort to develop your child's palate to prefer God's
ways. If you don't, that taste will be developed by others - others you
probably don't prefer.
For example, the television has become a modern day baby sitter that can
cultivate attitudes of rebellion and defiance. The media is doing its best
to shape the thoughts of young people to adopt liberal views of sex,
homosexuality, drugs and violence. They are pressing to desensitize the
minds of anyone willing to absorb their filth. Don't let the television
raise your child.
And avoid letting your children spend the majority of their time with
other children. This serves only to reinforce the foolishness bound in
their hearts (Prov. 22:15). "He who walks with wise men will be wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm" (Prov. 13:20 NASB).
Your children need your help in uprooting foolishness and replacing it
with wisdom. They need time with you, listening to you, receiving your
counsel and advice on matters in their lives.
Keep Your Child on Target
Aiming your child like an arrow is a conscious, willful act. Look again at
Deuteronomy 6:7: "You shall teach (these words) diligently to your
sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk
by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up" (NASB).
Diligence. It's a decision backed by a commitment to hold fast to that
decision. Making the firm commitment to teach your children "when you
walk (or drive!) by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up."
This means making the most of every conversation.
Just because you're a Christian and attend church faithfully does not
guarantee your children are being taught your values. You cannot expect
your children to get the direction they need from a couple of hours a week
in church. The primary responsibility of aiming your children does not
belong to the church. It belongs to you. Aim them at God's Word, then be
certain to check them at regular intervals to be certain they are still
pointing in the right direction.
Let everyday situations become teaching times. Be open and responsive to
the Holy Spirit to use these situations, not in a condemning way, but in
an encouraging, uplifting manner. God alone knows the motivation of your
child's heart, and He alone can reveal to you the most effective way to
reach him or her.
As the Scripture says, "Don't keep on scolding and nagging your
children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the
loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and godly
advice" (Eph. 6:4, The Living Bible).
Be certain your children are aware of your availability, no matter what
you're doing. They should know they are most important to you, and you
will stop anything to meet their need.
Make it a practice to talk about the Word in all your activities. When you
take a walk or go to the park, use that time to develop an appreciation
for God's creation, the birds, the beauty of the trees, the wildflowers,
even the clouds in the sky.
Another opportunity for ministering the Word is bedtime. This is an
especially powerful time to deposit into your children. They may have a
special need for your comfort, love and approval, encouragement,
assurance, or just a listening ear. The words you speak before bed last
all night and are there first thing in the morning.
Using a fun, casual atmosphere, you can be very effective in impressing
powerful truths to your children. As a family, we frequently tell the
stories about how God delivered us from Satan's grip; how He rescued us
from a particular situation; even how God brought Dennis and me together
to be married; and how God miraculously gave us a child when medically it
was impossible. In this way, our daughter can grow to see God's Word as
part of our everyday experience.
Shoot for Life, Not Just a Lifestyle
If your children are not to be drawn off target as they grow, they will
need to see Christianity as not merely a lifestyle, but as life itself!
Reach beyond the limitations of the mental realm and communicate with the
heart of your children.
What have you trained your children to prefer? Have they developed a taste
for the things of the world, or the things of God? Determine to model your
life in such a way that it makes growing up something worth attaining.
Children learn by example. Impart wisdom to your children through your
companionship. Cultivate and nurture friendship with them.
If you aim your child like the warrior would aim the weapon in his hand,
you will not be ashamed. Your meaningful relationship with your children
will cause them to see the truth and appreciate your wise counsel. And the
joys of living in the promises of God's Word will bless them through
eternity. |
